Couple History

Relational Resources: Couple History

Relational Resource: Couple History

Every passing experience—for better or worse—presents an opportunity for a couple’s relationship
to grow stronger. Memories of good times create a history that can be recalled fondly. Challenging
experiences that the partners worked through together become future reminders of the resilience of
their relationship. Over time, couples develop a shared history that they can build upon as they move
into the future.

Strategies for increasing your couple history resources

1. Talk with your partner about the most challenging experiences you’ve faced in your relationship so
far. What can you learn from those experiences that can help you to face other challenges in the
future?

2. Complete the following relationship time-line exercise. On a piece of paper, develop a time-line
that starts at some point before your relationship (e.g., at birth, when you started college, or moved to
the city where you and your partner met). Begin with two lines that represent the individual paths of
each partner’s life. Then, bring the two lines together at the point when you became a couple. Include
significant events in your individual lives and in your relationship that have brought you to the place
where you are in your relationship today. Reflect on the significance of those events and their impact
on the current status of your relationship. Keep the time-line in an accessible location, and continue
to add to it as your relationship moves forward.

3. If you enjoy crafts or other types of creative projects, then try creating some type of scrapbook,
album, or memory book that commemorates significant events in your relationship history.

4. Be patient when you face major life transitions that affect your entire family (e.g., having a baby,
retiring, or becoming a caregiver to an aging relative). It takes time for families to adjust to these
major events, and they often become an important part of a couple’s shared history.

5. Share the history of your relationship with others! If you and your partner have children, they are
especially likely to be interested in learning more about the development of your relationship, before
and after they were born.