Knowledge About Your Partner

Relational Resource: Knowledge About your Partner

Relational Resource: Knowledge about Your Partner

The more you know your partner, the better you will be able to understand the way he or she acts, and
this understanding can go a long way toward enhancing your relationship. The dimensions of this
knowledge include his or her personal goals for the future, opinions about various topics (e.g.,
politics and current events), the people and experiences that have influenced his or her life, values
that influence decision-making, and his or her typical responses to challenging circumstances.

Strategies for increasing your knowledge about your partner

1. Try to maintain a constant sense of curiosity about your partner. Even if you have been together for
many, many years, it’s likely that there are still many interesting things you can learn about him or her.

2. Ask your partner to take you on a personal tour of his or her hometown. Request that the tour
include the places where important events occurred and where his or her favorite memories were
made. As you go on the tour, encourage your partner to share stories about those events and
memories.

3. Be careful not to use your knowledge about your partner to hurt him or her. You are probably aware
of some of your partner’s “hot button” issues that you could use to easily hurt your partner’s feelings.
Avoid these at all costs—rarely does this create any good in relationships.

4. Make an effort to observe how your partner interacts with you and other people in his or her life.
Instead of becoming frustrated when your partner doesn’t act in the way that you’d like, view this as
an opportunity to learn more about your partner’s unique view of the world.

5. Ask your partner to tell you what he or she believes to be his or her most significant personal
strengths and weaknesses. Then, discuss how your own strengths and weaknesses are
complementary to your partner’s.