Strategies to Manage Negativity

Relational Resource: Strategies to Manage Negativity

Relational Resource: Strategies for Managing Negativity

Couples build an important relationship resource when they develop strategies to manage negativity,
which means actions they can take to minimize negative patterns and interactions within their
relationships. Negative interactions can quickly escalate and lead to undesirable relationship
consequences, so it is crucial for couples to be able to manage and redirect those patterns as soon
as possible.

Strategies for increasing your capacity for managing negativity

1. Don’t let negativity overrun your relationship. When you notice negative patterns in your
relationship, commit to working together to change those patterns.

2. Even when you are very angry with your partner, try to remember some of the reasons you love him
or her. This should help you to keep a more positive focus during your interactions.

3. Be willing to apologize. Even when it is difficult, sincere apologies go a long way toward reducing
negativity.

4. When things are going well in your relationship, talk with your partner about how you can manage
negativity during more difficult times. This way, you’ll be more prepared for the next time, and you
won’t have to figure everything out in the heat of the moment of negativity.

5. Try a de-escalation strategy to manage negativity. For example, take a joint “time out,” hold hands,
and count to ten while taking deep breaths. Then, try to return to your disagreement in a more
relaxed, focused, and positive mindset.