Your Partner's Family-of-Origin

Contextual Resource: Your Partner's Family-of-Origin

Contextual Resource: Your Partner’s Family-of-Origin

In-law relationships are notorious for being difficult and full of conflict. However, many people are able
to build positive relationships with their partners’ family members, and these relationships often
become important sources of support.

Strategies for increasing resources from your partner’s family-of-origin

1. Encourage your partner to build and maintain positive relationships with his or her family
members. It could be especially difficult for you to have good relationships with them if your partner’s
relationships with them are uncomfortable.

2. Did you have a bad start in your relationships with your partner’s family members? Be willing to try
again and keep an open mind.

3. Consider your partner’s family members to be an important source of information about your
partner and his or her family background. Be curious and ask questions as a way of showing them
that you are interested in getting to know them better.

4. Try to include some of your partner’s family traditions into the family you create with your partner.
These might include special meals and holiday activities.

5. Work with your partner to come up with some ideas about how to manage boundary issues that
arise between you, your partner, and your partner’s family-of-origin. If you feel that your in-laws are
overstepping their boundaries when it comes to your relationship, try to address the issues in a way
that isn’t hurtful or likely to damage relationships.