Relationship Skills

Relational Resource: Relationship Skills

Relational Resource: Relationship Skills

In order to keep a relationship going strong, it is important for couples to demonstrate behaviors that
promote healthy communication, emotional connection, and mutual respect. The behaviors that
promote these positive outcomes are often referred to as relationship skills, and when they are put to
use in relationships, they become a powerful resource for couples.

Strategies for increasing your relationship skill resources

1. Conduct an honest self-evaluation to identify your strengths and weaknesses related to
relationship skills. You can begin this examination by asking yourself (and possibly your partner) the
following questions:

(a) What kinds of things do I do when interacting with my partner that seem to help make our
relationship stronger?
(b) What kinds of things do I do when interacting with my partner that seem to make things worse in
our relationship?
(c) What kinds of feedback have I gotten from others in my life (e.g., friends, family members,
coworkers, previous relationship partners) about my interpersonal skills?

2. Identify some “relationship skill role models,” or people in your life who you believe possess
excellent interpersonal skills. Notice how they interact with others, and try to incorporate their most
successful strategies into your own relationships.

3. Develop stronger listening skills. Try not to interrupt your partner, and pay very close attention to
what she or he is saying.

4. Aim to be respectful, clear, direct, and open when you are speaking with your partner. It is
important to say what you mean and not expect your partner to read your mind. If you do not think your
partner understands what you are saying, check in with him or her to see if you’ve been clear.

5. Banish negative relationships “skills” from your repertoire. Work to change behaviors that are likely
to negatively impact your relationship, such as putting down your partner, refusing to listen to his or
her perspective, and bringing up information from the past that has no direct connection to the
present situation.