Sexuality and Intimacy

Relational Resource: Sexuality and Intimacy

Relational Resource: Sexuality and Intimacy

Sexual intimacy is one of the main things that sets couple relationships apart from the other
relationships in life, at least for couples in monogamous relationships. Sexuality and intimacy—
including, but not limited to, intercourse—are important for helping couples to maintain a sense of
connection to one another, for providing a means of physical closeness with each other, and for
generating and maintaining passion in the relationship.

Strategies for increasing your sexuality and intimacy resources

1. Increase your comfort level in talking about sex with your partner. If talking about sex has always
been uncomfortable for you (as it is for many people), try to understand more about why it is
uncomfortable for you. For example, perhaps sex was never discussed in your family-of-origin, or
perhaps you were shamed in the past when you brought up the issue. Once you have a greater
understanding of those experiences, you can reevaluate whether you might be ready to take some
risks in talking more about sex now.

2. Learn more about sex and sexuality from credible sources. Many adults, even those who are highly
educated, still hold on to a lot of inaccurate beliefs about sex and sexuality. This misinformation can
lead to problems when it is applied inappropriately to couple relationships. You can start by looking
in the On-Line Sexuality Issues Resources section of this web-site.

3. Take good care of your body! Eating right, exercising, and getting enough rest are essential for
keeping your body fit and primed for sexual pleasure.

4. Do you and your partner disagree about the frequency of sex in your relationship? If you haven’t
been able to resolve this difference on your own, it might be wise to seek the help of a couples
counselor or sex therapist. You can locate one in your area using the databases in the F inding a
Counselor section of the Relationship Resource Network.

5. Remember that it is normal for a couple’s sexual relationship to change over time—in terms of the
frequency and duration of intercourse, the physical functioning of both partners, and the meanings
that are ascribed to sex and intimacy. Couples may go in phases of more and less satisfaction with
their sexual relationship, and this is normal. Remain open to the changes that occur in your own
relationship—sexuality and intimacy often take on very different meanings for couples in different
stages of life.