Shared Dreams

Relational Resource: Shared Dreams

Relational Resource: Shared Dreams

When a couple shares a clear vision for the future of their lives together, they are able to draw upon
that vision when making decisions in the present moment. In addition, a couple’s shared dreams
provide a sense of meaning and purpose in their relationship, as well as an important source of
motivation for keeping their relationship strong as they move into the future.

Strategies for increasing your shared dreams resources

1. Talk with your partner about what each of you would like your relationship to be like in the future.
Set goals related to how you would like to treat each other and the types of experiences you would
like to have together.

2. Write a Mission Statement for your relationship, and post it in a visible place. Many companies
and organizations use mission statements to clarify their purpose and unite their employees in
working toward a common goal. Apply these purposes to your own relationship to create a powerful
reminder of your shared goals.

3. What should you do if you and your partner realize that your dreams for the future are very different
from each other? First, determine if it would be possible to realize both dreams within your
relationship. If so, then you can make room for both of those dreams. However, you may determine
that your individual dreams are mutually exclusive. For example, one partner dreams of becoming a
parent, but the other partner dreams of remaining childless and traveling the world. If this is the case,
then the next step is to determine whether one partner is willing to change his or her dreams in order
to make the relationship work. When faced with such a relationship challenge, a professional
counselor or therapist may be a helpful resource for navigating these difficult decisions.

4. Keep your dreams for the future flexible. Once one dream becomes a reality, you may want to
create a new dream that builds upon the accomplished one. Also, remember that some dreams may
never come to be, no matter how hard you work toward them. Be willing to revise your dreams if this
happens. Unexpected twists and turns are a natural part of life.

5. Try not to get so focused on the future that you forget to enjoy the present moment. Remember,
your shared dreams for the future are going to build on the strength of your relationship today.