Your Family-of-Origin

Contextual Resource: Your Family-of-Origin

Contextual Resource: Your Family-of-Origin

Even after you’ve created a new family with your partner, your family-of-origin can still provide an
important resource for your relationship. They can help to remind you where you came from and
provide you with emotional and practical support to help you and your partner in your relationship.

Strategies for increasing your family-of-origin resources

1. Spend time with your family members! Be sure not to ignore them because you are so wrapped
up in your relationship with your partner.

2. Support your partner in developing positive relationships with your family members. Include your
partner in conversations and experiences that you share with your family members.

3. Figure out the special skills or knowledge that your family members possess. For example, your
sister may be a great problem-solver, and your uncle might be an expert on financial matters. When
you face a situation in which you could benefit from those unique talents, seek out those people to
see if they would be willing to help.

4. If you live at a distance from your family members, make extra efforts to stay in touch. Take
advantage of the many means of communicating available today—such as phone, e-mail, Internet
chatting, blogs, and text messaging.

5. There may be breakdowns in your relationships with your family members that you do not think you
can (or want to) mend. If that’s the case for you, try to develop other ways of building the sense of an
extended family network around you, even if that “family” is comprised mostly of friends.